Tuesday, May 26, 2009

About Me

Well, I suppose I've got to post something here, and for the time being, I think the best thing to post is a spiritual biography.

I grew up in Silver Spring, Maryland as a United Methodist. The church I went to is a large church, and my family was quite active in this church. My late father was an usher there, as well as one of the coaches for our youth basketball team. My great-grandmother turned the first spadeful of soil for the laying of the foundation of the current church building, and we were a very well-known family in this church. Here, I was christened, baptized and confirmed as a United Methodist.

But when I was in my early teens, my parents divorced. I stayed with my father in our house and in the same neighborhood. Mom eventually met he who became my stepfather, and unfortunately this is where some weird things began happening. She and her new man were heavy drinkers. This new man couldn't keep his hands off of me when he was drunk. This is not a good thing.

When I graduated high school, I made the mistake of thinking I could go live with Mom and stepfather and go to the college of my choice, which they lived very close to. I was there for two years before the abuse became too much, and I eventually fled their home.

During this period, I began doing a lot of searching, trying to figure out what was going on here and why this was allowed to happen to me. The Bible held no answers for me, that's for sure.

On campus, I found some Wiccans, and after talking to them for a few months, I decided to do a self-dedication on Ostara of 1989. Thus, I set my feet on the Wiccan path.

Don't so many of us start out this way?

That was all well and good. In 1991, my boyfriend and I moved to central Florida, and I got involved in the local Wiccan community here. In 1996, said boyfriend and I broke up, and I found myself on my own.

Through the introduction of my high priest's partner, I found myself attending a Unitarian Universalist Church; this was something I'd never heard of when I lived up North. The local Wiccan community frequently holds events there, in their large hall.

In late 1996, I met the man I am currently with - Joseph, who is an Odinsman and who has been since he first set his feet on any pagan path. We first met at a local pagan bookstore, and after two years of pursuit, I finally gave Joe my phone number. In time, we became an official couple, and here we are.

Joe has been instrumental in introducing me to Asatru, and in showing me how different Asatru is from Wicca or eclectic neo-Paganism. I'm not sure he realizes how he has inadvertently taught me things that apparently I needed to learn. In time, I'm sure I'll be writing some of these things I've learned in this blog.

One of the things that Joe got me thinking about (well, him and a lot of the reading I have done on Asatru) is the very simple idea of the Gods as the Elder Kin.

That is one of the concepts that keeps me coming back to this path. I admit to wrestling with it at times, and wondering if there is a place for me here - I am not really inclined to be one of what I call the "axeatru" who believes that Asatru is an excuse to beat the piss out of everything that irritates me, and I'm also not inclined to be a "beeratru" or someone who believes Asatru is an excuse to punish my liver with inhuman amounts of alcohol. Thankfully, it seems that much of this kind of vision of Asatru is making way for something a lot more balanced and realistic and down-to-earth. So now I can spend more of my time meditating on what the idea of "Elder Kin" means to me, instead of wasting my time beating back the axeatru and the beeratru!

At the moment, I don't really have the words to explain what the idea of "Elder Kin" means to me and how important it is; just know that with this in my awareness, I'm able to find some level of spiritual peace. Spiritual hospitality. It's a huge relief, trust me.

I must admit that for a short time, I had a major case of sour grapes and tried becoming involved with the Episcopal Church. I experienced a wonderful welcome there, and that welcome makes their path hugely tempting...except I just can't make myself believe in that whole Jesus thing. Plus, it is an alien path for me, a descendant of Celts and Germans. I even have the red hair to prove said descent!

I think I'm going to cut this short for now...I had not planned to go into much detail right now anyway. That can come later...

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